


Whoever You Are (Is All You Need to Be)

by sweeterthankarma



Series: Pride Month Prompts 2020 [18]
Category: Feel Good (TV 2020)
Genre: F/F, Gender Identity, Genderfluid Character, Nonbinary Character, Other, Post-Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:01:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24802768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweeterthankarma/pseuds/sweeterthankarma
Summary: Sometimes Mae feels like a girl. Sometimes she doesn't.
Relationships: George/Mae (Feel Good)
Series: Pride Month Prompts 2020 [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1769956
Comments: 10
Kudos: 14





	Whoever You Are (Is All You Need to Be)

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Pride Month and welcome to my first ever month-long fic challenge! For thirty days, I'll be writing and posting LGBTQ+ fics inspired by the prompts listed [here](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/517562182177703635/). These fics will be anywhere from 100-1,500 words, will be for different fandoms, ships and characters, and will all stand alone. Here goes nothing!
> 
> Day 18 Prompt: Sometimes. 
> 
> Also just wanted to note that Feel Good is semi-autobiographical of actress Mae Martin's life (who plays Mae, of course) and she identifies variously as female and non-binary, so it's safe to say that her character does as well, even if they're only really beginning to understand and realize it at the end of season one. Also if we get more seasons of this show, I lowkey hope that Mae and George will move on from one another because I don't think they're really what the other needs. In the same sense, I think they have so much potential to grow, improve and be better FOR one another, as well as BECAUSE of one another. Fingers crossed that Netflix will renew it!

Sometimes Mae feels like a girl.

She’s never been super feminine, always rather androgynous and simplistic, a big fan of greys and blacks and other neutral colors that make her physicality blend in and not be the main takeaway of her presence. She’s always vouched for what’s inside of herself, for what’s inside of others, and she hopes that when they look at her, they see more than just a pale, eager face hoping to earn some laughs and appreciation. George certainly does, it’s clear everytime that she does so much as look into her eyes, and that’s all Mae needs. 

Mae brands herself as “a girl who likes girls” in her newest standup piece, speaking it clear and loud. It’s nothing new; she’s been out for years and even if she wasn’t, one look at her bleached pixie cut would make most audience members jump to a stereotyped conclusion, one that Mae should probably mind more than she does. Instead, a rush of pride surges through her, directed towards every facet of that identity that she declares on stage, one that she’s said so many times over in so many situations. And sure, that feeling is mostly directed at the sapphic part, a familiar queerness that she knows better than any other part of herself, but there’s still a twinge of honor surrounding the female aspect, too. Not much, but that’s alright. It’s enough to count. Besides, she’s always been subtle, always been nuanced, always been her own before anyone else’s.  _ She’s always been who she is. _

Sometimes Mae doesn’t feel like a girl. When she — no, correction:  _ they;  _ somedays that fits better—  finally put a label to it, the words “gender fluid” and “non-binary” finding a solid place to rest in their mind and sit alongside “female” on any questionnaires they fill out, fitting together with neat diagonal slashes. Learning the terminology beyond hearing it in passing conversations at gay bars and therapy sessions ignites something in Mae, a knowledge that’s heady and palpable but also easy, obvious, something that doesn’t even really feel like a revelation. A part of Mae knew this about themself all along, so deeply that they almost didn’t realize that there was a label waiting to be claimed. But hey, who needs labels anyway? What difference do they really make, especially when people exist so often without them? 

Mae wants to exist without them — a nd they kind of do — but in the same token, they need them. Humans cling to labels, to meaning. And Mae needs the vocabulary to describe how they feel, how it burns and soothes to live through months and weeks of days that fluctuate in so many ways. They need to then turn to George to tell them that being received as non-binary rather than a woman isn’t warmer or softer or more snug, but instead feels almost the same. It fits in the way that the latter does on the days where Mae feels more glamorous, puts on a little eyeshadow or foundation instead of just chapstick. Regardless,  _ they’ve always been who they are.  _

And when George holds Mae’s hand, strokes a hand through their hair and calls them handsome and pretty in the same breath, Mae finds solace in themself, in these moments, in the love that they’ve grabbed onto and held onto tight. Mae knows that who they are is beautiful, good, more than enough.  _ Being who they are is all they need to do. _

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi and celebrate pride month with me on Tumblr [here.](https://sweeterthankarma.tumblr.com/)


End file.
